Read this sentence, and then read it again.
"THE WORLD DOES NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING, PEOPLE DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING, AND MOST IMPORTANT. YOUR FEELINGS ARE JUST THAT ...YOUR OWN."
Maybe it is just this generation, but too many people were raised to be overly sensitive and entitled in every single aspect in life. The thing that bothers me the most is that relationships became ownership and less partnership. When did this happen and why, why are we in a generation or decade where people are so unloyal, untrustworthy, and unfaithful. Sure technology is to blame partially, but when did we stop being confident in ourselves and seeking a long term relationship.
Rejection is a healthy part of life, so we should stop living in fear of it. I have been in sales and marketing most of my life so rejection has become a natural part of my life. Personally it molded me to be a happier person, and better partner in any relationship I'm in. Research has found that mulling over regrets obsessively can turn into a lack of sleep, increase impulsivity or even turn into binge eating and alcoholism. We hide behind computer screens and text messages, waiting on a reply, a like, and I am over it. Pick up the phone, communicate with people and show your investment in them. It is OK to approach someone in public and have them tell you no. I am a firm believer anyone in your life that is intended to be there you will meet in person. It will not be the person messaging you or swiping right. I think technology connects us with people we would never interact with in the first place that was meant to be in our lives. I think that is also why we run into a lot more NO partners than YES. Personally the women I speak to who are confident, secure, and have marketable skills would rather be approached in public by someone who is confident and willing to put themselves out there. Than the person willing to take the easy no, and creeps in the DM's. So keep that in mind, go out there say hello, and if you hear a no ... oh well move on. But if you hear a yes it might be the best decision you ever made. Failure is expected, recover, move on, and use your failure as leverage and a lesson into your next venture.
Confidence and self esteem come hand in hand. Confidence and arrogance aren't the same here. Confidence radiates off someone, they stand tall, speak clearly, and are comfortable in their own skin. I feel these days people really lack confidence, which bums me out. We would be a much happier and healthier society if we did more positive self talk, and were confident people. Try building yourself and others up rather than break those around you down and see how much more you thrive in that environment. Look at your "circle of influence" do those people you are closest to build you up or break you down. This is key, how do you expect to be confident or find a great partner being surrounded by people who bring you down? Get better friends, and be your own cheerleader. Wake up every morning and focus on a positive thought and trait about yourself. That will soon radiate off you and you'll be able to brush off the negatives. But people are always attracted to confident people, no one wants someone who is voicing their insecurities constantly. By doing that you actual let your partner or others know and pay attention to it. This will affect any relationship you get into for your entire life.
Space and alone time is important and healthy in any relationship. Everyone goes through the honeymoon stage, but in my opinion that doesn't have to die. It only dies when people stop putting forth the effort or believe the grass is greener on the other side. Newsflash, the grass is only greener where you water it. Being in a healthy confident relationship means people need personal space. I think the best thing is to respect your significant others independence. It is fine to incorporate activities and include people into your routines. But having separate friends is good, being able to go out and enjoy a dinner with girlfriends or a boys night is healthy. But again how is your "circle of influence" if its positive than you give your partner no need to worry. If their motives are unclear... well of course your significant other wouldn't feel confident in you spending time with them. With that being said you have to make the right decision for your relationship, again people are people they will do whatever they want. But you should not be in a relationship that if you ever go out or do anything it causes a fight, or its a guilt trip the following day. You do not own anyone else, the only thing you own is how you treat others and how you make them feel. Create a schedule for time together and time apart. Be supportive of your partner and their friend time, and if you have an issue with a particular person, voice that and communicate.
Trust and build a partnership together, a relationship should never be about ownership. People will still be people at the end of the day so if they choose to be unfaithful there is nothing you can do to prevent it, maybe prolong it. But people make a decision and will follow through no matter what. And guess what we all get hurt, pain is apart of life, it helps you grow and long term it will get you to "your person" faster. So use this tips above for helping find yourself, and maybe your next potential partner. It is about to be summertime, so get outside, put the phone down and put your best foot forward to make a good impression in person.
